New York has always felt like my second home. Growing up, we would take a trip to visit family every few years, and I fell in love with the city. I knew the streets and subways of NYC more than I knew Minneapolis. To say I love New York is an understatement.
In April of 2001, my mom and I spent my spring break in NYC. My life was a mess. I was suffering from depression, and was going downhill fast. I couldn't feel anything in my life. Only hurt. So my mom let me choose whatever I wanted to do for the trip - there's only one thing I wanted to do. Go to my favorite place in the world- the top of the World Trade Center.
Standing on top, looking out at the city, looking out at the world, I remember feeling something. Feeling peace. Feeling comfort. Feeling free.
Five months later, I was in the middle of Mr. Krebs' multimedia class. I was a junior in high school. Someone ran into the room and told everyone to turn on the TV. I felt a dagger as I watched my favorite place in the world up in smoke. As I watched the towers fall, my heart fell with them. I numbly went from class to class, and I couldn't stop crying. I started freaking out, so I called my mom, asking if she had heard anything from my family who lived in NY. Nothing yet. Eyes glued to the TV. Later found out they were ok, watching the events happen from their house.
Tears streaming down my face. Eyes glued to the TV. That's all I really remember for the rest of the day.
Thousands of people lost their lives on September 11, 2001. I remember feeling so much pride along with the rest of the country in the weeks and months that followed. Even now, whenever I look back on that day, I think of the people like me who were struggling through their lives. Who went to NYC to escape their worries. Who stood on top of the towers, and looked out at the world on that beautiful September day. I feel for every single life that was lost on that day - in NYC - in DC - in PA. But my heart really goes out to an unknown few. I know there were people like me standing on top of the WTC.
As I watched the towers fall, all I could think of was how many people were in my favorite spot, just tying to feel alive.
My favorite patriotic song, thanks to Mr. Disney.
i love that you shared this. i'm still yet to put my thoughts together and determine what i want to say today. but i did see one post that i absolutely love. "the question isn't 'where were you then', but 'where are you now'?"
ReplyDeleteand in so many ways, you haven't stopped living. you've beat the depression that had such a hold on you, and you've gone on to do amazing things. and that's the important part.
i'm so sorry that you lost a place that did so much to make you feel alive, but i'm also so proud to know someone who has taken such full advantage of his life since then <3