Back On The Wheel

I am a runner.

If you look at this blog for 15 seconds you could figure that out easily.

For the majority of people that read my blog or follow me on facebook, you see the joys and successes of my running.  The races.  The medals.  The PRs.  The miles.  The weight loss.  So many amazing things have been attributed to my life as a runner, and I am so proud to call myself one.

But there's another side to the story.

I have a confession to make.

I have a motivation problem.

Maybe it's because as a middle and high schooler I ate and drank so much junk food and pop that eating healthy foods seems like a chore.  Maybe it's because I'd rather sit on the couch than head out for a 5 mile run.  Or maybe it's that I let everything else in my life become a higher priority and my health and fitness slides down the scale.

Whatever the reasons, I've been in a health rut for the past 6 months.  Off-and-on levels of motivation have led to ups and downs- physically and mentally.  I am one of those people that when I am doing well and running consistently, a 5 mile run feels simple and free.  But when I am not doing well, a 2 mile run becomes a battle.  Every workout seems like a drastic chore, and it's not that I don't want to work out, but it's more so that the results and successes seem so impossibly far away that it isn't worth it.

Right now, I am in caught in an in-between. Mentally, I have every desire to work hard, focus, and achieve my goals of living a healthier life.  So I've been trying to trudge my way forward regardless of the voice inside saying it's easier to give up and be complacent.  But I feel stuck.

#suedle by Sue Caulfield

So this is my agreement I am making with myself.  It's time that I just suck it up and push myself.  It's time that throw the excuses out the window and make my health a priority.  And it's time that I love the journey again.

It's time that I love me again.

The drawing above is an original #suedle by the amazing Sue Caulfield.  Check out her blog at suecaulfield.com

2013 In The Books

As we ring in 2014, I feel that it's important to take a look back at the last year and see how I did with some of the things I want to accomplish.  Every year, I set a number of goals made to help me reach, grow, and discover.

Stay below 230 pounds - NO
In 2013 I finally got below 230, below 220, and even spent a little time below 210.  But after my marathon, I let myself go, and that number rose.  I spent Oct-Dec above my goal weight.  Shoot!

No McDonald's or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - YES
I said goodbye to my two biggest problem foods.  And honestly, I didn't really miss them.

Run a race every month - YES
3 years & counting, and some amazing new experiences along the way.

Run a marathon - YES
June 2, 2013 - Rock n' Roll San Diego Marathon - 26.2 miles of glory!

Run under the following times - NO
5K: 26:00  10K:  57:00  Half Marathon: 2:00:00
I didn't even come close, but set a new PR in the 10K
Run 3 destination races - NO
San Diego gets a point.  Moab gets half a point because I've done it before.

Visit 5 new places - KIND OF
I made it to some places I have never been, but many of them involved exploring my amazing CO

Read the Bible - NO
Bits and pieces here and there, and read more of it I have in my life.

Increase savings accounts to undisclosed amount - NO
The first half of 2013 was a struggle financially, but the second half got the ship back on course.
Have zero balance on my credit cards - NO
Close, but no cigar
Volunteer - KIND OF
I did a handful of one-day volunteer things, but I was hoping for a consistent outlet.

Discover/Rediscover a creative outlet - KIND OF
I spent more time drawing & painted a couple things this year, but not to the consistent level I was hoping for.  

Smile and laugh a lot - YES
And made a million memories along the way.

I accomplished some great goals, and a lot were left unfinished.  And that's perfectly ok with me.  I believe if you accomplish all of your goals, then you're not aiming high enough.  

For 2014 I'm switching it up.  I am putting the finishing touches on my 30 before 30 list - 30 things I want to accomplish by the time I turn 30 (Feb 1, 2015).  I will unveil it on my 29th, and I'll have a year to conquer the list.  Game on!

Happy New Year, everyone!

What are you going to do to make 2014 spectacular?

3 Years of Running

It was a crisp December evening in Saint Petersburg, Florida.  There I was, pacing back and forth, trying to get my nerves to calm down.  The time got closer and closer, and I inched closer and closer to the start of my first race.

I had no idea how it would go because let's face it... I was unhealthy.  Years of living a stagnant life and eating whatever I wanted left me standing on a scale two months earlier staring at a number.  The number staring back at me was the highest it had ever been.  I refused to let this be my life, so I decided to make a change.

I laced up my shoes and went for a run.  I made it a quarter mile.  As I walked back to my apartment, all I could feel was defeated.  But in that moment, I realized just how long this journey would be, and what I needed to do.  So I went again the next day.  I kept at it.  I ran a 1/2 mile.  Then 3/4 mile.  Then a mile.  Then 2.

On December 8, 2010, I ran my first 5K.  The nerves I was feeling at the start quickly turned to adrenaline.  I chugged along the course mile by mile.  And when I crossed the finish line, I was hooked.

I signed up for a race in January, and made a goal to run a race every month.  I didn't think this would last long, but I needed a way to hold myself accountable.  So I ran another 5K.  And another one the next month.  The weight started coming down, and my happiness started rising.  

I moved from Florida to Denver and stuck with it.  Once I adjusted to the altitude, I needed to keep pushing myself, so I signed up for my first 10K.  My distance kept going up a little bit.  My weight came down a little bit.  My speed went up a little bit.  The one thing that stayed consistent is running a race every month.  Month after month.  Race after race.

3 years later, that streak is still in tact.  

Each of the three years have taught me something major:

Year one taught me that the first step is always the hardest.  It is so much easier to lay on the couch than to head out for a couple miles.  Going from a sedentary lifestyle to an active one is a whole lot harder than most people give credit.  Setting new habits takes a lot of will power, and bouncing back from setbacks is key.  I've always loved the quote "Showing up is half the battle."  With running, getting out the front door is half the battle, and if you can least get yourself there, the rest falls into place.  Every time.  The first step is the big test.  Are you willing to take it?  I'm thankful I was.

Year two taught me the importance of pushing myself.  I was content to run a bunch of 5Ks, until I started meeting more people in the running community.  Those people kept encouraging me to increase distances and find ways to challenge myself.  I completed a Warrior Dash in Florida.  I placed 3rd in my age group in a race.  I ran my first half marathon.  I became a Tough Mudder.  I set PRs.  I never stopped pushing myself, and it was a nice reminder of how much fight I have inside of me.

Year three taught me that anything is possible.  I've been told all along that I shouldn't be a runner.  Too big.  Body's not built for it.  Previous knee surgery.  I love it to much and I'm too stubborn to listen to those voices.  But there was one feat that I thought was impossible for me.  I never thought I would attain it.  But in June, I became a marathoner.  It was an incredible way for me to realize that hard work, determination, and a little bit of crazy going a long way, and that nothing is impossible.

Here I am, 44 races later.  It has been an unbelievable journey over these past 3 years, and one that I would have never expected looking back at 25-year-old me.  It has taken me so far (literally and figuratively), and the person I am today is better as a direct result.  

Through running, I have learned what it means to be healthy and how fitness can lead to a better life.  I have gained confidence and tested my limits, gained new skills (tangible and not) and learned that when I set a goal, I won't stop until it's done.  I have learned that runners are some of the most driven and all-around best people you will meet, and being a part of the running community has been a giant blessing.  I have learned that the only thing standing in the way of accomplishing most things in life was the person staring back at me in the mirror.  Once I learned that, I knew that I could conquer anything.

And it's all because I was willing to take a first step.

Diet Bet is Over

A month ago I posted about a challenge I was doing this month:  DietBet

The challenge is to lose 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks.  You put money down to enter, and all winners split the pot.

I entered 3.

The first one was sponsored by Jillian Michaels, it had over 7,600 participants with a pot of over $238,000.  Wow!

The second one was a random one I found on the site.

I started a third one, and got a handful of friends to enter.

The Jillian weigh in was about a week ago, right after I got back from a week in New York.  Bad timing - I lost by a few pounds.

I still had a shot at the other two, but it was going to be tough!  I buckled down the last week and put everything into it.  I would also need a lot of luck to make it happen.

When the DietBet ends, you have 48 hours to weigh in.  My random one and my DietBet ended a day apart, so with each 48 hour window, there was a day overlap - my hope was that on that day, I would hit my goal, the weigh in would count for both, and I'd be a winner.

That overlap day was today.

Yesterday, I woke up a few pounds away.  I ate minimally (not the greatest idea), went for a run after work, and stepped on the scale before bed.  I had a shot, but it would depend on how my body processed the next 24 hours - I could see it going either way.

I woke up today and stepped on the scale - my target weight was 222.5.  The scale read 223.0.  So close!  I went for a run, which usually knocks off a little bit.  I got back on the scale when I got back home- 222.4!  I did it!  I ran to grab my camera (you need to submit a couple photos as proof), and when I got back, the scale read 222.6.  I got off and back on.  222.6.  I tried again.  222.6.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

So, I hastily bundled back up and headed back outside - did a quick couple of sprints and jogged back.  I approached the scale for one last try.

222.0.  Snapped a picture for weigh-in 1.
222.2.  Snapped a picture for weigh-in 2.

I uploaded the photos I needed, hoping that they would be officially accepted, because I knew next time I stepped on the scale I would likely be back over the .5 mark.

Then, I got this email:

I made it!  Barely, but I did it!  9 lbs down in a month - and I can't wait to see what my winnings from the two are!

Boom!

Falling in Love with Running All Over Again

Since I ran my marathon in June, my motivation has been gone.  Since I moved to Gunnison and its 7700'+, it's been hard to run.  The last few months have been brutal.

I have tried to keep running and get back into the swing of things.  I've gone running several times, ran a few more races, and just kept at it.

Real Talk:  I didn't like running any more.

For me, when running is a chore, when it's hard to get out, and the miles are a challenge, it just isn't fun.
I ran a 10K this past weekend.  Somewhere in the middle of mile 4, I fell in love with running all over again.  The miles came easily - my feet were gliding on the pavement.

I was free.

Kooky Spooky 10K

With October winding down, I decided that my race this month would be the Kooky Spooky Race in Golden, CO.

I originally signed up for the half marathon, and for the last couple months tried to get ready.  That didn't happen.  Between adjusting to running at 7700', busy schedule, laziness, and several other excuses, I couldn't do it.  My longest training run was 6 miles - and I just couldn't get myself to double that on race day.  So, I decided to switch to the 10K.

Since I started running, I've always said the 10K is my favorite distance - just long enough that it pushes you, just short enough that you can still run pretty hard during it.  Which is funny to me, because out of my 40+ races I've done, only 3 previously have been 10K.  This was my first 10K in about a year, and I was really excited for it!

I got to the race site early so I could make the switch, then just sat around until a little before race time.  As it got closer, I started to get ready.  I gracefully dropped my handheld water bottle, immediately breaking it on impact.  Uggghhh...  Luckily, I had a spare in my trunk!

The race director made a comment about the hills - she hoped either you love them or at least you knew about them, because they'll destroy you if you're not ready... YIKES!

We gathered near the start, and there was the countdown... 5...4...3...2..1... GO!

We started the course and it was an easy downhill for the first mile and a half to two miles.  Piece of cake!  I ran at a faster pace than normal, which I usually try to avoid to start the race, but I was feeling great and I knew the course was going to get tougher.

Miles 3-4 the hills started - people started walking left and right - I had one goal: I didn't care how slowly I ran, I would not stop to walk.  So I just plowed ahead one step after the other, my pace slowed by about a minute and a half, but I kept trudging on.  Then at mile 4, we hit the fun part - a mile of steep downhill down a windy path - I FLEW down this.  The whole time I wondered if I was going to run out of gas after this portion, but I didn't really care - it was FUN!  At mile 5, it was a relatively flat, easy hills to the end.  I kept pushing and pushing and hit the 6 mile marker.  The final stretch was uphill - enough to take everything out of me.  I kept trying to push, and the finish got closer and closer.  I crossed the finish line, heard my name announced, and just smiled.  This is my first run in 4 months that just felt GREAT.

I ended up setting a 10K PR by over a minute, and in this one race, fell in love with running again.

Diet Betting

I am starting to get to a point where I need to do something drastic when it comes to my weight loss.

When I ran my marathon on June 2nd, I weighed 207 lbs.  As of today, I weigh 226.  I have more or less taken the last couple months off, only recently finding the motivation to get back on track.

Disclaimer: I am the first to admit that health isn't determined by a number on a scale.  At all.  But for me, I know that where I want to be fitness-wise involves lowering my number, so weight loss it is.

During this time off, I entered a Diet Bet, where the concept is pretty simple:  Put some money down.  Try to lose 4% of your weight in 4 weeks.  If you lose, you're out the money.  If you win, all the winners split the pot of money.  So if you win, the worst case scenario is you get your money back.  Best case scenario is others don't reach their goals and you win more money!

Sounded easy and fun.

I lost.

I lost because I didn't care.

But now, game on!  I have entered 3 Diet Bets (including starting one of my own) in an attempt to make it more of a competition for me.  I've been struggling to find motivation to do consistent exercise and eat well.  I figure putting $70 on the line for the next month is good motivation.  And the prospect of getting more than that back in return and winning money is even better motivation.  So this becomes my side job for the next month- and a way for me to keep myself on track.  Please check in with me and see how it's going, and help hold me accountable!

And if you'd like to join the Diet Bet I started, it's $25 to enter - click here!

Colorado Symphony 5K

My September race was the Colorado Symphony 5K on Sept 21.

Since it was my brother's 31st birthday that day, I figured I could run 3.1 miles as a shoutout to him.

The race was held at Sloan's Lake, and amazingly in my two years I lived in Denver, I had never visited the lake.  I parked on one of the side streets and walked to the registration area.  I got my bib, headed over to the start area, and waited for time to pass.

At 8:45 they did the kids fun dash.  I always love these - they're so adorable!  I'm not getting baby fever, but I can't wait until I can bring my kids to a race and have them do the kids runs...

After that, we assembled in the start area, sang the national anthem, and it was time to go!

By the time the race started, the sun was blaring and it was starting to get a little warm - at least from what I'm used to in the mornings in Gunnison.  We did a counterclockwise loop around the lake.

For me, the race was broken up into two different halves.  The first half felt great!  I was running strong, and happy to be at such a low elevation (I'm saying this facetiously, but I can definitely tell the difference when I go back to Denver).  The second half felt pretty bad.  I felt sluggish, heavy, and slow.  I could literally feel all of the 20 pounds I have gained since I ran my marathon in June.  Ugghhh.

All things considered, I'm happy with this run.  I know that in a few weeks/months as I get back into training and the rhythm of running, weight will come down and so will the time.

It was a beautiful day around Sloan's Lake and I'm so glad I got to do this race - and as a result, I already claimed my reward by getting a free ticket to one of the Colorado Symphony shows this season.  Can't wait!

Official Time:  30:10

The Bells Hate Me

The Maroon Bells.

Colorado's most photographed and most beautiful spot.

Here's what it's "supposed to" look like:

Perfection

I've been wanting to go there as soon as I moved to Colorado two years ago.

I have tried twice, and here's what happened.

The first attempt was last November.  We went to Aspen for Kristen's birthday weekend and hoped to see them.  As we drove down the road, we came to a closed gate.  Poor planning.  But we decided to get out and walk.  After a couple miles of hiking the sheer-ice road, we saw somebody hiking down.  He said it was still a couple miles to the lake.  After a few minutes of talking, we decided not to risk it, and walked back.  We almost wiped out several times, and were a little lucky to come out of that unscathed.  We vowed to try again next summer.

Icy road to the Bells

Last weekend was that time.  Kristen and I went to the Glenwood Springs for the weekend, but decided to take a day trip to Aspen with one objective: see the Bells.  When we woke up, it was cloudy.  We made the drive anyways, hoping it would clear up by the time we got there.  We drove the same road, reminiscing about our icy adventure the fall before.  This time, the road was open!  We drove the road to the lake, got out, and what did we see?  A wall of fog coming over the mountains blocking the view.  So we decided to go for a quick hike, hoping it would clear up by the time we completed the loop.  It was a beautiful hike, but as time went on, we could see less and less.  By the time we finished, there was no proof the Bells even existed.

Pre Hike

Post Hike

I'm starting to put the Bells into the same category as the Loch Ness Monster & Bigfoot - something out of mythical folklore designed just to get foolish tourists to come there, only to leave disappointed... yet still intrigued...

You win again, Maroon Bells!

Blue Moon 5K

On Friday, I got to run my first ever trail race.

On the way to Denver to spend the weekend with Kristen and her parents, I made a pit stop in Colorado Springs for the 2nd annual Blue Moon 5K.

After a 3+ hour drive, I made it to the park with about a half hour to spare.  I waited in line to get my bib, but they were out of safety pins.  So lucky me got to carry it for the whole race.  At the last minute, I decided to grab my phone so I had music for the race.  Good call!

Everyone made their way to the start lines.  Not much of a warning or countdown, but we were off!

We rounded the corner of the park and headed into Ute Valley Park, a beautiful park with some great trails.  The trail shot up into a quarter mile incline that was tough.  By the time I reached the top, my chest was pounding.  I used the rest of the mile basically to catch my breath as I was winding through the forest.

Then, it got incredible.  Once I caught my breath, it became one of the best races I have ever done.  I loved the inclines hopping over branches and rocks.  I loved the downhills feeling my momentum pulling me down.  The weaving in and around paths, the dirt, the rocks, the trees... it was all amazing.

I think I'm hooked on trail races!

Official Time:  32:42