Back On The Wheel

I am a runner.

If you look at this blog for 15 seconds you could figure that out easily.

For the majority of people that read my blog or follow me on facebook, you see the joys and successes of my running.  The races.  The medals.  The PRs.  The miles.  The weight loss.  So many amazing things have been attributed to my life as a runner, and I am so proud to call myself one.

But there's another side to the story.

I have a confession to make.

I have a motivation problem.

Maybe it's because as a middle and high schooler I ate and drank so much junk food and pop that eating healthy foods seems like a chore.  Maybe it's because I'd rather sit on the couch than head out for a 5 mile run.  Or maybe it's that I let everything else in my life become a higher priority and my health and fitness slides down the scale.

Whatever the reasons, I've been in a health rut for the past 6 months.  Off-and-on levels of motivation have led to ups and downs- physically and mentally.  I am one of those people that when I am doing well and running consistently, a 5 mile run feels simple and free.  But when I am not doing well, a 2 mile run becomes a battle.  Every workout seems like a drastic chore, and it's not that I don't want to work out, but it's more so that the results and successes seem so impossibly far away that it isn't worth it.

Right now, I am in caught in an in-between. Mentally, I have every desire to work hard, focus, and achieve my goals of living a healthier life.  So I've been trying to trudge my way forward regardless of the voice inside saying it's easier to give up and be complacent.  But I feel stuck.

#suedle by Sue Caulfield

So this is my agreement I am making with myself.  It's time that I just suck it up and push myself.  It's time that throw the excuses out the window and make my health a priority.  And it's time that I love the journey again.

It's time that I love me again.

The drawing above is an original #suedle by the amazing Sue Caulfield.  Check out her blog at suecaulfield.com

2013 In The Books

As we ring in 2014, I feel that it's important to take a look back at the last year and see how I did with some of the things I want to accomplish.  Every year, I set a number of goals made to help me reach, grow, and discover.

Stay below 230 pounds - NO
In 2013 I finally got below 230, below 220, and even spent a little time below 210.  But after my marathon, I let myself go, and that number rose.  I spent Oct-Dec above my goal weight.  Shoot!

No McDonald's or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - YES
I said goodbye to my two biggest problem foods.  And honestly, I didn't really miss them.

Run a race every month - YES
3 years & counting, and some amazing new experiences along the way.

Run a marathon - YES
June 2, 2013 - Rock n' Roll San Diego Marathon - 26.2 miles of glory!

Run under the following times - NO
5K: 26:00  10K:  57:00  Half Marathon: 2:00:00
I didn't even come close, but set a new PR in the 10K
Run 3 destination races - NO
San Diego gets a point.  Moab gets half a point because I've done it before.

Visit 5 new places - KIND OF
I made it to some places I have never been, but many of them involved exploring my amazing CO

Read the Bible - NO
Bits and pieces here and there, and read more of it I have in my life.

Increase savings accounts to undisclosed amount - NO
The first half of 2013 was a struggle financially, but the second half got the ship back on course.
Have zero balance on my credit cards - NO
Close, but no cigar
Volunteer - KIND OF
I did a handful of one-day volunteer things, but I was hoping for a consistent outlet.

Discover/Rediscover a creative outlet - KIND OF
I spent more time drawing & painted a couple things this year, but not to the consistent level I was hoping for.  

Smile and laugh a lot - YES
And made a million memories along the way.

I accomplished some great goals, and a lot were left unfinished.  And that's perfectly ok with me.  I believe if you accomplish all of your goals, then you're not aiming high enough.  

For 2014 I'm switching it up.  I am putting the finishing touches on my 30 before 30 list - 30 things I want to accomplish by the time I turn 30 (Feb 1, 2015).  I will unveil it on my 29th, and I'll have a year to conquer the list.  Game on!

Happy New Year, everyone!

What are you going to do to make 2014 spectacular?